Here’s my attempt to sound less negative. Instead of saying last week was a week of many failures, I’m going to say that last week was a week of missed opportunities. Which is utter bullshit. I totally failed. I missed a run. I didn’t go to any classes. I didn’t keep up with any of my journals or start on a daily planner to help organize my time better or give a damn about nutrition. I just dropped the ball on everything I had hoped to achieve. I failed.
However, by the time Sunday rolled around, I managed to at least get in my long run and made the best time I’ve had since starting running again. Many failures, but one great achievement.
And today, I’m back at it. I put off my run until it was almost too late, froze my ears off because even though it was sunny and forty (supposedly), the wind chill was around 30 and I forgot my ear-covering headband, had to walk most of it because soooooo many obstacles (mud, ice, other dogs), but I did make myself go to yoga tonight because my hamstrings are so tight, you can use my legs as foam rollers. Getting my legs back in line is something I really need to start working on. Having to take painkillers every night just to sleep because my hips are killing me is really not an ideal long term solution.
It’s really frustrating. On the one hand, I’m glad that I went out, even if it wasn’t the best run in the world. I’m glad I went to class. I actually did most of the things I hoped to do today. On the other hand, my procrastination methods are beyond reproach and I’m mad at myself for letting so much time slip by, time I really should have spent being more productive. That’s one reason I put a time limit on the social media apps on my phone. Did you know you can do that (if you have an iPhone; I don’t know about the rest)? I’m now allowing myself one hour every day for social media. That may seem like a lot, but my sister and I primarily communicate through Messenger, so I have to leave some room there. It’s mostly because I spend far too much time scrolling–I don’t absorb anything, I just scroll. I can scroll through an entire article and an hour later, I won’t even be able to say if I’ve ever heard of the topic, much less read an article about it. It’s ridiculous. It’s what I’ve started doing to pass the time, and I know I can do better things with my life. Not to mention, the eyestrain is really getting to me. I already have glasses. Thanks to work, I’ll never be able to get laser eye surgery (no fine particles allowed, and I work with flour). I need to protect my eyes as much as possible. There’s a lot of excellent reasons to stop. I’m just hoping I can stick with it.
One useful thing I learned today–tomato products are a huge no if I’m going to run. First, the heartburn. Ugh. Heartburn. Getting old sucks. I never used to get heartburn, and now I keep a bottle of Tums by my bed. Second, there’s nothing fun about running with the constant taste of tomato soup in the back of your throat. Some things I don’t mind joining me on a run–that is definitely not one of them. Life lessons, people. I can only hope now that I’ve written it down, I’ll actually remember it.